August 25th, 2013
Dearest sweet Aaliyah,
As I sit listening to your ‘One In A Million’ album, your words echo in the darkness for only me to hear,
“Let me be your angel, I’m ready….”
As you sing these sweet melodies, I decided now is the time to sit and try and express my feelings the only way I know how. Through writing. 12 years is such a long time to be without someone. To be missing someone. I remember it all like it was yesterday. The day you left us behind and started on your new journey. Even as I write this, the pain I felt 12 years ago is still as strong. It only seems to be getting harder and harder with each year that comes and goes. Knowing how I and millions of other fans feel this time of year especially, I can’t even begin to imagine how your family and friends get through it. I admire the strength they exude. The willpower it takes to be able to get up and get through each day knowing that you’re no longer here to greet them with a smile, a text, a hug…an I love you. I don’t know how they do it. But I admire them. Showing such resolve and strength in the face of such unimaginable tragedy. I’m in awe of every single person who personally knew you and loved you. Because I know that as much as WE as fans are hurting STILL, even 12 years later….they are all hurting 10 times more.
I was never fortunate enough to meet you to be able to tell you that I truly do love you. To let you know how much you inspire me. How much you helped me and still continue to help me to this day. I never got the chance to tell you how much I admire you and how you helped me better my life. How you encouraged me to stand out & accept my differences because that’s what made us unique & beautiful. You saved me. You really are a “positive motivating force within my life”. And though I never got to tell you that in person, now I get to whisper that to the Heavens every single night & know you hear me.
I’m not sure the pain of losing someone ever goes away. I’ve lost my fair share of loved ones, and despite years having passed…that ache never truly goes away. Maybe it doesn’t sting as much, but the scars are there as a constant reminder. That void will never get filled no matter how much time has passed. I always pray that your mummy and your “everything” get through this day as well as they possibly can.Their loss is so much bigger than ours. Though I never knew you personally, I felt a strong connection with you through your music, your interviews, your videos; that made me feel as if you were more than just an artist. You were my sister. You were family. And when you passed, I mourned you like family.
“Lean on me, when you’re not strong. I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on…”
Through song, you know exactly what to say at exactly the right moments. When I feel like I’m ready to break down, you sing those sweet words that make me feel like you’re listening. And you still care. That despite having moved on from this world in the physical sense, you are still here…everywhere. I see reflections of you everywhere. Your influence is every which way I turn. Yes Babygirl, your legacy is stronger than ever. Your fans are as loyal as ever. We love you more than ever.
Thank you for all you have done…for me, for the world, for music. Thank you for all you have shown me and taught me. Thank you for telling me it’s ok to be me and it’s ok to be different. Thank you for loving & going hard for your fans. Thank you for giving us all of you. We’ve never stopped going hard for you Babygirl. We won’t ever stop.
“Angels watching over you…over me…”
Despite knowing you’re in a place much better than this…I can’t help but miss you constantly. Music has never been the same without you. WE’VE never been the same without you. And we never will be.
We truly miss you so much.
As tears cascade down my face, with your sweet voice echoing within my headphones, I’ll use your own words in closing….
“I won’t let no one, come and take your place, cos the love you give, can’t be replaced”
I love you Aaliyah. You are my role model. My inspiration. My motivation & My Angel. You will forever be the one I gave my heart to.
Sleep peacefully Babygirl. I’ll see you when I get there.
Love you always & forever,